I like to go out for a few drinks with the guys every now and again. Knocking back beer followed by shots really ensures that a great night is had by all. The only problem is that I tend to do and say things that I would not normally do without the presence of alcohol swimming around my insides.
The next day I always wonder why I didn't stop around five drinks before I was more or less carried out of the bar. But do you think I ever learn from my lessons? Like hell I do. I will usually wait about a month or so before going on a real bender again but I still go out for a few drinks every Friday and Saturday. Sure what's the point in staying in?
In my group of friends there are about eight of us who meet up every weekend to have a few beers. Most of the guys are cool and they are a great laugh but there is this one dude who has become quite the bore as he has aged. He used to be great fun but since he got a serious nine to five job, its like they injected him with a bore gene. He really would drive you to drink and to be honest, every time I get stuck sitting beside him for the night that is exactly what happens. I even have an embroidered patch on my biker jacket dedicated to him. The I Only Drink To Make You More Interesting Patch is exactly what happens whenever I have to endure a night of listening to him.
You really can't get a word in with him so I have learned not to even try. I just switch off and down the beers and before I know it I am so drunk that I don't give a shit what I am saying. My other friends think its funny as they know what he's like and they know how he drives me nuts. I usually try to avoid sitting beside him at all costs but I'm sure the others try their best to ensure I have to sit there. I can see them grabbing the seats at the bar and leaving me with the one beside Mr. Boring.
Apart from making me say shit that I would never normally say, beer also makes me do other things that I would definitely not do unless intoxicated. For example, whenever I end up drinking more than I should, I usually wake up the next morning nursing the mother of all hangovers and lying beside a complete and utter pig. And once the beer goggles have been taken off I really have to wonder what possesses me to pick up these gals.
This is another source of amusement for my mates as I'm sure they go out of their way to find the ugliest girl in the bar and introduce her to me when I am on the shots. They know that I will not have any problem chatting her up and taking her to bed so they have bets on which dog I will go for. They have even bought me the Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beer Holder Patch for my jacket. I suppose its true but it still irks me slightly. I mean you would think I would have learned my lesson by now. Maybe in a year or two when I eventually settle down with the woman of my dreams I'll stop knocking back the beer. Just as long as I don't end up being Mr. Boring's twin!
