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Asshole patches

Embroidered patches for assholes. From Genuine asshole to official asshole we've got you assholes covered.

Hashtag Asshole Patch
Official Asshole Patch | Embroidered Patches
Designated Asshole Patch
Key To Happiness Patch
I'm Such An Asshole Patch

I am what you would call a classic asshole well that's according to my girlfriend.  She says I take her for granted and I leave her to do everything around the house.  Sometimes I wonder why she stays with me if I am such an asshole!

Maybe its my charm and my good looks am I being too modest here?  Well we have been together for about four years and in the beginning we were really great together.  She was great fun and always up for a laugh.  We used to go out all the time and every weekend we would hop on my Harley and hit the open roads.  She had her own apartment and I still lived with my folks so we usually stayed at her place at the weekends and a couple of times during the week I would stay over there too.

And to be honest things were good.  She seemed like she was really happy so after maybe a year or so, she asked me if I wanted to move in with her.  We thought this was the best thing as I had been staying there more and more and she though it would be great.

And that is when things slowly started to change.  She wanted to stay in more and watch TV together, while I was still happy to be riding around on my bike and having fun.  What is it with women?  Once you make any sort of commitment, they suddenly turn into a nagging housewife.  And I really thought that only happened when you signed your life away by making an honest woman of them!  And suddenly I'm the asshole!

Well I decided to get a patch on my jacket which I thought she would take in a light hearted manner.  The Classic Asshole' patch from was perfect for placing on my biker jacket.  I strategically positioned it at the back of my jacket so that when I headed out on my bike at the weekend, she would see it staring right back at her.  I thought she would find it funny but she hit the roof.  You wouldn't believe the names she called me if I tell you asshole was the nicest one, then you might begin to get an idea.

Seriously man, do I really need this shit in my life?  I think not.  I think someone needs to wake up and take a long hard look at herself in the mirror as she is in danger of becoming the 'Classic Bitch' in more ways than one!